I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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