Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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