Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
