Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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