So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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