Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we're making bets on your personal life
She even gives head with a lisp.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
