Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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