Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
