I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
