Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
