Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
