I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
