Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
