So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize