This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize