Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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