so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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