The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
