Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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