this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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