I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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