My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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