what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
