did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
