she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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