he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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