What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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