As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
