i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
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just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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