Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
