do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
