you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
