I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
