Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
