she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
