It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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