Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
