1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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