We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
