I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Gay?
German.
Pity.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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