he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
