im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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