so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
