i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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