3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
