It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
