ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
