clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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