Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Semen is not good for contacts.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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