I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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