No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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