you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
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Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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