He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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