question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
