I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
