I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
