I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
