Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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