Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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