Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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