I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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