I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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