wat bout pragnant strippers??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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