You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
