Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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