Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
50% drunk capacity currently
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
