I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table