Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.

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  (713): you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank. http://tfl.nu/t4i5
  Replies (12) Good night (3676) Bad night (970)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.

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  (630): So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again. http://tfl.nu/rreu
  Replies (54) Good night (1177) Bad night (5055)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.

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  (641): Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that. http://tfl.nu/2jzp
  Replies (27) Good night (9071) Bad night (3505)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love

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  (732): she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love http://tfl.nu/knwu
  Replies (35) Good night (12710) Bad night (1414)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?

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  (915): at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes? http://tfl.nu/vnu1
  Replies (3) Good night (2664) Bad night (1540)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.

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  (314): I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate. http://tfl.nu/fw6h
  Replies (12) Good night (2763) Bad night (1073)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count

  (516): View more from New York

  then nothing in my life counts

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  (860): official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count (516): then nothing in my life counts http://tfl.nu/4fe8
  Replies (8) Good night (1972) Bad night (646)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte

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  (856): she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte http://tfl.nu/jlfx
  Replies (3) Good night (958) Bad night (402)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.

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  (218): Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else. http://tfl.nu/z0p4
  Replies (3) Good night (460) Bad night (897)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!

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  (319): No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy! http://tfl.nu/f6zv
  Replies (10) Good night (620) Bad night (528)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  The struggle is real.

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  (620): I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot (857): The struggle is real. http://tfl.nu/tczd
  Replies (0) Good night (810) Bad night (409)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while

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  (519): I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while http://tfl.nu/0rg5
  Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (350)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.

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  (406): My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college. http://tfl.nu/7goj
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (412)
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  (310): View more from California

  i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy

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  (310): i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy http://tfl.nu/mmrh
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (653)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT IS HAPPENING

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.

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  (724): WHAT IS HAPPENING (1-724): A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US. http://tfl.nu/lbg7
  Replies (6) Good night (832) Bad night (357)

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