I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
