yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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