I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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