you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
