Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
the raccoons are back...
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