Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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