oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize