dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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