Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
