bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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